Hello Darling,

Thank you for the outpouring of love you've sent towards me in response to my last email announcing my recent uncoupling. If you missed that announcement, you'll want to read about it here before continuing with this email!

A few of you experienced a bit of whiplash with my ending my email saying I was going on a date! T and I took our time with our uncoupling, and because it was so slow and so spacious, I was able to enter the dating world as a single woman a few months ago once I felt that my soul had not only un-intertwined itself from his, but felt that I was feeling open to inviting other men into my field once again from a place of abundance.

As I responded to someone on my Instagram announcement about the uncoupling, "The beauty of uncoupling so slowly and lovingly is that my healing mostly happened in relationship before I ever moved out. It felt like I moved out at the moment I was ready to unfurl my wings after being in a cocoon of healing. Being single has been sweet, and gentle."

I created a few selective dating profiles curated to call in exactly what I felt open to at the time. And I nearly immediately began matching with high quality, masculine men who fit exactly what I was looking to experience.

I almost hesitate to share this detail with you, because I know that SO MANY women rush back into dating before having fully come back into their own energy field after an uncoupling. SO MANY women rush into a new relationship from a place of lack, a place of desperation, a place of loneliness, a place of needing to fill the void left by their previous partner and relationship. And when I say rush, I don't mean to imply that there is an ideal amount of days, weeks, or months that need to pass before beginning to date once again, but rather I mean that women tend to bypass their internal experience and outsource it from new men in their field instead of sitting with what is alive inside their inner world.

The epitome of neediness is an internal lack that is filled from the outside, or externally sourced, rather than filled from within or internally sourced.

I see this not just in women who are single and dating, but I see this in married women (and men!!) all the time. The demand that their spouse fill their void, the demand that their spouse change, the demand that their spouse meet them in some way to fill a need that should be met internally from God.

Entering the dating world from a place of neediness will attract men to you who are not marriage or life partner material. It will also attract men to you who are not well-connected to their inner masculine essence. You will find yourself meeting Peter Pan's and F*** Boys, men with savior/hero complexes who are deeply codependent, and men who are so high in grandiosity that they cannot clearly see you for who you are but treat you as a mirror in which to admire their own shine.

If you're craving a "manly" man, a man who is deeply connected to his inner masculine essence, and who has grown into his own mature feminine energy, then you'll need to be well-resourced and held by your own inner masculine AND by the DIVINE MASCULINE = God. A woman needs to be in healthy relationship to both her inner feminine and inner masculine energies to attract a healthy and balanced masculine man.

The same thing applies in marriage, when desiring to call out your husband's masculine essence.

Now, I really want to stress this:

When we are in a marriage or committed relationship, we are ultimately devoted to Love. This should prevail through all seasons of the union. I am devoted to Love. And I am very much FOR Sacred Union, and for marriage. I believe in marriage not as a government regulated entity but as a sacred oath between two individuals coming together to devote themselves to each other's flourishing and to bringing Love to earth through their union. This will always be the foundation of my work with couples. That has remained unchanged. I continue to bring my decade of experience as a married woman, and my experience creating a beautiful and loving uncoupling, to my work and mentorship containers.

I had a bitter man ask me once, "Are you even devoted to the masculine?" and the answer is NO. I am not devoted to "the masculine." Questions like this not only reveal the bitterness and entitlement some of us carry to getting our needs and desires met from outside of us from the opposite gender, but it also reveals the huge misinterpretation of what "the masculine" is. "The Masculine" is often used in place of the word "man" and let me underline this statement: I am not devoted to men.

I am devoted to LOVE. I am devoted to calling forth The Love, the GOD ESSENCE within my partner/husband/lover. My devotion to myself, my partner, my friends, my family, my work, it all flows from this place of being devoted to Love itself. There is no higher devotion, for me.

This devotion to Love is what enabled me to be able to uncouple from my husband of ten years in such a loving and kind way, that even now he will occasionally mention it and thank me for how I showed up not just in our marriage, but in our divorce.

Some of the most common questions I have gotten around our divorce, and that have been inspired by our loving uncoupling:

• How do you know when it's time to stay and continue to fight for the relationship, and when it's time to lay it to rest and release each other? How did you know for certain it was time to end the marriage?
• Doesn't love conquer all? If you both love each other so much then why did you get a divorce? If two people love each other, isn't that enough?
• If you had just been more submissive to your husband would you still be married? If you had been more feminine would you have stayed married?
• Was it a lack of polarity that caused you both to get a divorce? Was it a lack of sex?
• Was the divorce truly as loving as you make it sound? Or is that just for social media? And if it was, how did you both manage that? What does a loving, conscious, sacred uncoupling truly look like?
• What is his side of the story? How can a woman support her man during uncoupling and divorce? What does a man need during a breakup?
• How did you know you were ready to start dating again, so soon after your divorce?

I have been taking my time with gathering and answering these questions, and I have also been in conversation with T the past several days, sharing some of the responses and questions with him to get his feedback and his honest answers. We both want you to learn what you can from what we are open to sharing about our process.

One of the first things I want to address is that T remains a very strong supporter of the work that I do -- including with men, and with couples and marriages -- and wrote this to honor me during our uncoupling, on my birthday:

Does it get any better than an endorsement from your previous husband and lover of ten years during your uncoupling? I share this not just from a place of pride for the work we did together during our marriage, but to show you what is possible when you decide to devote yourself to Love, and allow life to open you instead of harden you.

My divorce has not shaken my belief in sacred union, in marriage that lasts until the last breath, in erotic partnership between man and woman. My husband and I alchemized and overcame more shit in ten years than some couples do in fifty. I am so proud of our story, I hope you can feel it and read it in my words. Our story gives me infinite hope for every marriage that's ever struggled to figure out how to cultivate meaningful romance and lasting love.

The thread of honor and respect that is woven through our uncoupling remains strong and T and I both know that in divorce we will continue to honor the sanctity of the union we shared.

I have lost many followers and subscribers due to sharing this story so vulnerably, and I am grateful for the opportunity to purge my community to create more space for those who are seeking the medicine and ministry I feel called to share.

This story still feels tender to invite you into and I am very grateful for the support I have received from women like you, who are leaning in with curiosity and who are supporting me and loving me through this life transition.

So many of you have found hope and inspiration in our story, and the need for a blueprint for sacred uncoupling has become glaringly obvious. Meet me in my Instagram stories, or respond to this email, and let's continue the conversation. Keep your eyes peeled for my next email, as I will be answering more of the questions listed above for you and will share what I have been learning in this season.

in service to the womb, Amanda

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PO Box 1666 Hawthorne, FL 32640
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